Day 85

My Will

i remember growing up always believing and doing what i was told. for some reason i don’t ever remembering asking “why?” i know kids are curious and always asking questions, but i think i was conditioned at such a young age to just accept anybody, who had influence over me, to accept what they said as law. i grew up with that mentality through my teens years and succumbed to anything anyone said to me. i had no power of will when it came to things that went against my gut feeling. i would just be a good little boy and did what people told me, so that they would love me. having this type of background going into my early 20s really fueled the fire of never being satisfied. i had no idea who i was, nor did i have any idea of what happiness felt like.  i would pretend to be happy, but at the end of the day more misery would just pile up. i think i finally woke up to this fact when i started to better myself. it took me a couple more years to finally get a grasp on who i was and what happiness looked like for me. now that i have an idea of what makes me me, i’m able to implement and discover my will. my will is the things that make me me and make me happy. i am learning new things each day that add to this but my greatest source of who i am, is my compassion. i practice every single day on how to be more compassionate towards other people and to myself. it helps me create relationships with new people, creates a stronger bond with the connections that i have and teaches me to love myself every more.

 

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