now when i was younger i would always push myself to be the best. i think i did it mostly because i wanted people to love me. i did that up until my mother died. then all of a sudden, i lost my source of inspiration. i got into a lot of negative things. i dropped out of school and started dabbling into the party scene. when i was in that period of my life, i wasn’t motivated to make a better life for myself, and it was pretty bad. i would get drunk or high every night to numb the pain of my meaningless existence. i didn’t care about the people i loved and i didn’t care about myself. it was pure chaos until i was about 24. when i had hit the bottom of the pain, i knew i needed to change. i had pulled my family and friend through a tough ringer of my crazy episodes and i knew that my mom would have not approved of the way i was living. it wasn’t until i started to make meaningful connections with people that i found inspiration to create a bigger life for myself. it was finally getting rid of that pain that i allowed myself to let people in and allow myself to be me. today, i constantly aspire to be a better version of myself. whether it be letting go of bad habits, letting go of relationships that aren’t working for me, doing a random act of kindness, putting more energy into my dreams or telling someone i love you. i know that it is my purpose to create a life worth living and so that is why i continue to grow.